I’m writing to share my baptism story because I became a Christian as a young child but I didn’t get baptised until I was 34 years old. My hope is that by sharing my story, I might encourage anyone who is a Christian but who hasn’t yet been baptised, to take the plunge (literally)!
My childhood
I was brought up in a Bible-believing family and decided to follow Jesus as my Lord when I was about six or seven years old – I remember distinctly that I had been in Sunday School that morning and the teachers were an elderly couple, both wearing neck braces. I think they had been in a car accident and I remember thinking how strange they looked. They explained that we had to make a choice. If we acknowledged Jesus as our Saviour and King and said sorry for all the wrong things we had done, said or thought, then we would be saved from God’s judgment and would get to go to heaven. So that was a simple decision for me! When I got home, I prayed upstairs in the bathroom and I remember going downstairs for the Sunday roast dinner and announcing to my family that I was now a Christian.
My teenage years
As I grew, I learned more about God and about following Jesus from church and Bible studies and other Christians. When I was 13 years old, I started wondering about whether to get baptised. My family were living in Africa at the time and I attended a missionary school. There were regular baptisms where the individual would give their testimony and then get in a rectangular pool in front of a small amphitheater-like setting and get dunked in the water. I remember thinking it looked scary to have to stand up in front of the crowd and also to get completely soaked in front of everyone. I definitely felt self conscious about the prospect.
My 20s
I left home at 19 to go to university. Generally the subject of baptism didn’t come up that often and I didn’t really think too much more about it during those years. After graduating and a period of unemployment at home (perhaps a future post) I moved into central London and started attending a large, Bible teaching church. The question of baptism came up a couple of times and frankly I just felt uncomfortable at the mere mention of it. Any preaching, any discussions, I felt really awkward. I guess I felt like it was something I ought to have done by now and I started to feel ashamed.
A friend from my Bible study group who had become a Christian in his 20s decided to get baptised. I thought oh wow, I didn’t know he hadn’t been baptised. And it seemed like this could be a great opportunity to get baptised with a friend. I wouldn’t be alone. So I asked my church leadership and the process started. We even had a date booked.
However, when I started to tell a few people about this, I received mixed responses. Some were delighted. But a couple of people were shocked that I hadn’t already been baptised and made that clear. I found it upsetting and I felt even more ashamed.
As the date approached, I can’t explain it, other than I believe that I was under spiritual attack from Satan. I gradually started feeling disinterested in church, in the Bible, in Jesus. My heart gradually hardened and I got to the point where I was struggling to go to church, where I got angry in Bible studies and I felt like my heart was a stone to all things spiritual. It was probably the most depressing time in my life. I didn’t understand why God would let this happen to me or why He would allow it. I’d made this good decision to finally get baptised and now I didn’t feel like I could. It got to the point where I was so full of doubt that I told my church leadership I couldn’t go through with it.
It was a tough time. For about a year, I struggled with anything Christian. I am so thankful to God that He kept me going, and so thankful to my sisters-in-Christ who kept encouraging me to go to church, to read the Bible and to remind myself what I knew to be true about Jesus. God really used them to keep me going in faith.
My 30s and why I finally did get baptised
As the years went on, I became more involved in my church, I became more regular and got to the point where I was super eager to serve others and would try to get to every Bible study because I wanted to know more.
The year before I got baptised, the question of baptism kept coming up and in the most random of places. I remember, for example, being on holiday in Costa Rica and someone I didn’t know well, who wasn’t a Christian, asked me what I thought of baptism. It kept coming up, I couldn’t escape the question. I think God was prompting my heart.
So I started thinking again about getting baptised. But I was scared. I dreaded going through that past experience again and there was no way to know whether or not it would happen. So this time I did things differently. I was part of a prayer quad (four people who met monthly to pray together) and I told them what I was considering. I told my Bible study small group. I told family and friends. And people prayed for and encouraged me. I felt incredibly supported this time round.
Perhaps the driving force behind the decision was realising that when you follow Jesus, you don’t get to pick and choose which parts of your life are Christian. It’s all or nothing.
My faith is a complete trust that Jesus accomplished on the cross what was necessary to spare anyone who believes in Him from God’s judgement. I have a complete, assured forgiveness through His sacrifice, and in response to this freely given salvation, I wanted to express my gratitude and love by living in such a way that embraces His rule in every area of my life.
So living fully for Jesus meant I couldn’t pick and mix what I liked about Christianity. I couldn’t skip the part about believers repenting and being baptised, even if I was embarrassed about it, even if I was fearful of standing up in front of a crowd, even if I felt self conscious about going into water in front of all my peers and others. By not getting baptised, I was effectively being disobedient.
The baptism day
The day itself was one of the happiest I have had. I decided I would invite everyone I knew to celebrate with me. Honestly, it kind of felt a bit like a wedding day. Having everyone I cared about and who cared about me present, knowing they were all in my corner and supporting me.
Was I nervous about standing at the front? Yes. But I was given any questions I might be asked in advance, so I was able to think ahead about anything I might wish to say. Was I concerned about going into water in front of lots of people? Yes. But I asked a friend to have a large towel nearby so as soon as I got out of the water, I could have that thrown around me. Was I embarrassed on the day about not having done it sooner? No. It was such a relief to have it finally done and to feel free of the guilt and shame I’d held previously. The actual baptism bit was over in minutes and I couldn’t believe I’d been so worked up about not wanting to do something I wanted to do, for years.
Conclusion
Looking at my history and my experiences, in God’s sovereignty, the age of 34 for me was the right time and I was in the right place. By that point, I had learned that obedience to Jesus was more important than feeling embarrassed. It took me a long time to get there.
If you are a Christian reading this post and would like to get baptised, I would encourage to you speak to the leadership in your church. I’m sure it would make their day to have the conversation!
